well, i failed... again

okay, hey everyone or no one!

so this whole month has been a waste of excersizing and dieting and shit. cuz im back to my original weight.  yea it sucks, this last week i slipped and i ate anything and evrything.  but yea..... i feel like w.e. like i dont even care anymore... but i do. cuz i dont wanna look like this forever, and i daydream of all the possible things that could happen if i was skinny... and those dreams wont come true if im still fat. so im gonna try again and lose weight. i was thinking about all these people in the thispo, if they can do it, why the hell cant i?? and then i thought, well if they did it then i sure as hell will do it too! cuz they are in the same stuggle like me so itsw possible to lose weight and be skinny.

so yea. as of right now i weight ---> 168.4

and its still morning so that what i weigh without food in my belly and stuff...last night when i weighed myself i was 170.... so i geuss i gained weight then... fauck...... man.... thats really depressing. so theres about a week left in november, and i weigh 170... i obviously didnt reach my goal and i dont think i can in a week. my goal was 159 buy november 30th. thats 11 pounds in one week, yea, NOT HAPPENING!  but yea ima do my running and p90x AGAIN. and stick with it. hopefully.


man, fml!!! i wish i was skinny to begin with so i never had to diet or be fat! ughhhhhh and this thinspo isnt really helping either.....

but i already have my new year resolution, its to be able to wear a bikini in public and actually feeling good about it. i think i can do it if i stick with my plan. which is obvioulsy hard for me to do. and when i do that, i get my tattoo too! "pursuit of happiness" is what its gonna say. :)

that is if i have any money left... i just got A FEW tickets (3) and one was reckless so im just not thinking about that... like when i think of it, it just ruins my mood and i get pissed and sad and angry all at the same time.... damn....

so yea... todays scheduale

-clean my room
-run
-work out
-study for test
-go to school, take test
-go to class
the end!

yupp so i gotta finish all that....ok, so some thinspo and then ima go clean my room. dueces!!

yea nvmd, no pics today.

xoxo pariis