yea theres no change at all actually. well today i went dress shopping and it was horrible. all the dresses were ugly or didnt fit or my body looked huge. at the end, i got a ugly black dress, size 14.
size 14.
14.
yea im a size 14, and my mom is 18.... thats so embarresing and sad.... hmm. idk, it was just so depressing andsad,like it hurt me so much no find out i am a size 14.... well my friend, monica, shes a size 0. and im 14....
damn, i didnt no i was that big...its so horrible. yea so im gonna try to avoid all pics and stuff. and just be hidden and qiute tomrrow at the wedding thing. and i feel full again today cuz my manager bought me some food and i ate it.now i feel nasty and my stomach hurts again. and also i found out that i love the feeling of being hungry. its... it makes me feel good, and i admire it. the feeling of hunger is so new to me. like ive never experienced it. and also i didnt experiance being full either, id always be hungry or want to eat. but now i want to be hungry and stay hungry. hmmm. yea... so tomorrow im going to run for sure! at least 1000 calories. allriightyy.
i hate the feeling of being full, i just wana throw up right now, blahhhh! well, yea... thats about it.... im gonna be on a strict diet tomorrow at the wedding. and try not to eat too much or anything at all. ill try to remember this feeling i have right now so i dont eat. cuz feeling full is NASTY. i wanna feel hungry and i love it.
yea so im just going to think about my life and weight now, so umm yea good night?
taylor momson <3
xoxo pariis
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