Friday, December 16, 2011

Im better off dead, like seriously. I have no point in being alive, im just a waste of space.

Hmmm. My thoughts...

I just feel like i suck at everything. Just life. I suck at school, sports, everything. i just want to run away. Like i have no special talent.

Everytime someone asks me what im doing with my life, i say i wanna become a doctor. but I KNOW thats not gonna happen. I have a 1.7 GPA right now, and im about to fail a class so itll prolly be a zero or something, like fuck, i need to stop lying to all these people and myself that im gonna be a doctor, fuck that. thats not happening. And all this is just at a community college. imagine whatd happen if i were at a university or something...and im suppose to transfer to a university this summer. WTF?!?!?! im not gonna get in, i know that for sure....FUCK MAN. what the fuck am i supposed to do?!?! like seriously?


I honestly dont know what to do. im fucked. FUCK.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

147 lbs

Hey been awhile since ive been on here. Damn.

Well, I weigh 147 lbs unfortunatly, i gained 3 lbs in a week. So far my lowest weight has been 144 lbs. Ive been trying to get out of the 40 for a while but its not happening meaning im not trying hard enough. Fuck. Just fuck. So much has happened since the last time ive been on here. Boys, school, weight, family, everything.

But this is my weightloss blog so i guess ill just update yall with my weight. Um. Im still fat. Yeah... I want to be 125 lbs before the end of the year. Thats about 76 days and around 20 lbs.

I guess ill just watch what i eat again, maybe try the paleo diet, and start to run in the morning, 30 day shred and p90x. Ill make up a scheduale soon enough. ugh.

okay bye....

33113:

fack

^

sevvven:

those jeans and booooots



Oh and heres my before and during so far...

goodbye-vivian:

i-want-abs:

Felt a little motivated so I decided to make a before and during! I’m 5’2 btw. My current goal is to be 135 lbs by halloween! :)

Talk about an inspiration!! Same height, different starting weight, whatev. But SO happy to see it can be done and all. Congratulations!!!!

Monday, July 11, 2011

Im still alive, I promise :)

Hey yall, Just a quick update to let you know im alive. Haha, so i read a couple of your blogs but no time to comment, sorry :( But im glad most of you are doing good! and losing weight! Im so proud of you guys ^-^

Anyways, I, myself am doing okay too. Had some ups and downs but im just human. I am still somewhere around 148 lbs so ive been maintaining none the less.

My oldest sis left for AZ friday with my mom and little sister, and i miss em so much :( boo. But my dad gave me $150 to go grocery shopping for the rest of us since my mom isnt here to cook or anything, and i got lots of healthy foods. yummayyy!

Yea so Ive been dealing with school and life and stuff, still pretty busy. Trying to become a doctor isnt easy :(

haha Okay so ill catch up with  you guys later! Hope everyones doing well!

xoxo
Pariis
http://i-want-abs.tumblr.com/



omfg. THIS


Thursday, June 16, 2011

Luck My File

Fuck my Life
 sorry but its time for a rant
problems in my life at this moment
- Disfunctional family
-dumbass ppl who dont know how to raise their own kid
-classes
-test
-grades
-weight
-being a fatass
-sick
-mood-grougy
-sick of everything
/end rant

K bye

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Bow chicka wow wow

Broke into the 140s.... FINALLY! took long enough damnit. lol, but no, im extremely happy about this. Next goal is 139lbs by the end of June. This healthy thing is actually working out! I eat delicious foods and i dont feel like shit after or regret it or anything! And no binges!!! Im still not happy with my body but you know what, Im getting there. maybe not tomorrow, but im on the right path. :) cant wait to kick some ass in June. Also, i made a myfitnesspal account to record my calories, it really helps. But yes thats the update about my weight.

Still no boys :( boo... I barley text anyone at all. Its just been me, work, and school..Oh and running and exercising. I think im in love with running. I know right, i never thought id say that in a million years, but it takes off so much stress and i LOVE the endophins, its like my own personal drug. Ahhh

somethings i want-
-a boyfriend, or a boytoy
-to get fit, and actually form abs or just have a tight stomach
-reach 120lbs by my birthday ( August 10th! dont forget!)
-Do really well in my summer classes, cuz i did shit in spring
(i have the lowest GPA everrr)
and that is all for now, id also like to learn how to skateboard but thatll have to wait till my summer classes are over. anywho, that was just a quick update, hope yall are doing well!

xoxo, Parris

omfg, i hope she doesn’t get a headphone tan line


if only…


Monday, May 23, 2011

Boys Boys Boys

wow, so i love attention from boys. Not like an attention whore, but just being noticed.

So today, as i was driving to school for my summer class, bumping music out loud in my car, i look in my rear view mirror and saw him. My old crush who i fell for and actually wanted to be with. His name, Luis. We havent talked since like january and i saw him in my rear view mirror in his car. WTF? is that a coincidence or what? Hes going to attend my college this fall and i swear im gonna be skinny by then. If he sees me like this, omg. Not even gonna think about it, but anyways when i saw him, i hit the accelerator and zoomed outta there. I didnt want him to see me...not yet. I want him to see me skinny and fit and looking absolutely amazing! So then hell regret stop talking to me. Yea, WHAT NOW LUIS.

Lol, yea, anyways, Also, i went to the mall after class to get some new shoes, i went into Journeys and there was a hot guy there, and basically we were flirting the whole time he tried to find me shoes. It was wierd, like i didnt have confidence in me, i didnt act like myself. Idk, id thought since losing weight and everything, id gain confidence, but i was just wierd about it. idk....im still trying to figure out why i was acting weird.

But yea, thats all i had to say. Im so hungry but its 10:04 right now and i wanna eat but i cant so im debating if i should eat a snack or something. ahhh i should just go to sleep and eat a really big breakfast tomorrow morning. YES! thats what im gonna do, geez ive missed blogger and talking to myself. Onto homework, tumblr, and sleep! NO FOOD :)

ttyl, Pariis





btw, when i went to the mall, i saw soooo many cute clothes and bikinis -__- and i couldnt wear any of em, but thats alright, i will soon! I also got goal-shorts, cant wait to wear em out in public.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Sorry for not blogging anymore but...

TUMBLR IS THE BEST! For everyone here that still reads my blog (which is prolly no one) come to the tumblr community! its so great and motivational. I am on there almost everyday getting motivated to lose weight  and stick to it. Also, i learn alot more about how to lose wight and maintain and foods that are good for you and everything! So come and join  me loves :)

Ive been doing Great with my weight loss. Im so motivated, and i exercise a lot more.Im Happy. Before tumblr, id weigh myself everyday and be dissapointed with what id see on the scale and just binge and get frusterated and id do this everyday, feeling like a failure EVERYDAY. Now i only weigh myself once a week, and i try to eat healthy as possible. Even if i mess up or binge, its ok, cuz i have time to fix it by my weigh in day. Like for example, i had pizza last night. and ya know what. i didnt feel guilty eating it. i didnt feel guilty after either. I will just workout extra hard to day, and eat my best. So if you want, come join me on tumblr.

miss yall, love yall
xoxo
Pariis


Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Must not give in!

Hey girls, glad u liked my last post! It motivated me to keep going too haha. Well right now, im trying to keep myself from weighing myself till saturday. Saturdays are my weigh in days, and I dont wanna weigh myself till then, so i dont lose hope or get sidetracked.  Also, I have to go running in a few minutes. The plan for today is:

1. Run on elliptical for 30-45 mins
2. P90X workout for an hour
3. Lunch at subway (yumm)
4. Study for finals.(yuckk)
5.Wash dishes :(

Okay, so i HAVE TO follow my plan, no excuses or anything! And no tumbling or facebook either.

xoxo- Pariis

slimsunshine:

Wow, I love this!



healthyisthenewsexy:

THISSSSS

doofetah:

doooo it. (:


Sunday, May 1, 2011

i know, i know...

Well girls, its a new month. Again. Are we going to fuck it up like last month? Say we are going to lose weight this month and not do shit to get there? Make plans and stay motivated just the first day, then blow it all off till the first of next month? Doing the same thing every month, hoping that this month will be better then the last?

No. Im done. Im not going to blow this month off like the past ones. I dont even care its a new month, its a new day for me, and im going to take advantage of this and rock it. I am going to control today to my best ability, so what if there are curveballs? So what if I go out unexpectedly with the family. I will control myself, because if i dont start today, ill regret it, thats one day gone, one day i coulve gotten closer to my goal. No.

I refuse. I will only think of today, what my actions from today will predict my weight tomorrow and tomorrow until i reach my goal. We are NOT gonna reach our goal if we only think of reaching our goal and how wonderful itll be to be thin and wear cute clothes and be happy. What we have to think about is what we are going to do to get there. Today. Right now. What are u going to do right now to better yourself from yesterday? To get to tomorrow? To get to your goal? Daydreaming about it will NOT get you there, sitting on your ass and looking at thinspo will NOT get you there. Thinking about the results will NOT get you there. But thinking of ways to get there, actually doing things to get there WILL get you there. Actions speak louder then words and thoughts. Put your thoughts into action. Now. Not in a couple of hours, not tomorrow morning, NOW.

Eating is so easy for us, like breathing. It comes naturally to put things in our mouth and eat it like its nothing. So today, we are going to control everything 'natural'... our breathing, our blinking, our eating. Think before we eat, listen to our heartbeat, actually get in touch with ourselves. But thats not all. We also have to exercise. Its like a lock and a key- a key is useless if theres no lock, and a lock is useless without a key. As eating right is useless without exercise, and exercise is useless without eating right. Put both together and youll open the lock to success.

I hope you all, including myself, do great today. ( notice i said today, not this month) Make today wonderful, think only of today, right now. No past or present. Right now.

Set a goal-> Make a plan-> Follow plan-> STICK TO PLAN->Reach goal.
Make one for today, tomorrow, this month, this year. You can do this. One day at a time.

xoxo- Pariis
p.s. I have a tumblr! follow me at http://thinlover.tumblr.com/

daamn

wow, i wonder how hard she worked for that

this.


May has 31 days. Each day can bring you one step closer to your goal, or push you one step back. 31 chances to fail, or to succeed. Let's succeed.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Happy isnt easy

Hey, so... Georgetown was a success! We took the metro there, and did some walking to the Washington monument, then just hung out there. Sat on the grass and talked and took pictures(which i look so fat and horrible in). Then we went to some bar/restaurant place and i got an asain salad :) It was amazing. Then we went to Georgetown Cupcake but the line was soooo long, they said it was about a two hour wait so we were just gonna go home, but one of my friends really really really wanted a cupcake, so we were on a cupcake hunt and found another cupcake place called Sprinkles, which i thought was the same as Georgetown cupcakes. I ended up having 1 1/2 cupcakes. Not mad at myself cuz we walked so much i prolly burned one cupcake off. Haha, then we went to my friends house and watched a movie and had sunchips. I thought it was an okay day, fun too!

That was thursday, Friday i worked all day and had some tofu and pasta, it was amazing. Im actually thinking about becoming a vegetarian. Cuz i like tofu, and it would stop me from eating lots of my fav fatty foods like chicken quasadillas and burritos ( i only eat white meat now) So i would have an excuse not to eat it. I think im going to start today :) 

Saturday, I went to my coaching job in the morning and at the end, i twisted my ankle. -__- wtf. It was kinda embarrassing  cuz i was running in front of all the kids and parents, and just dropped. I heard a click and a roll.But i played it off pretending i was tieing my shoes. lol And the rest of the day i was home and could barley walk. So i was just sitting bored at home with a twsted ankle,then Mars messaged me again... Man oh man, I dont even know where to begin. It went something like this...


Mars-Hey
me-Hi
Mars- I havent seen u in forever
me- Sorry, im always busy
Mars-Oh when can u see me?
me-When are u free
Mars- You home?
me- Yea,  i twisted my ankle today :(
Mars- So u cant come over and see me?
me- No babe i can barley walk
(blah blah blah, cut to the point)
joking about a threesome
me-Whats wrong with threesomes?
Mars-I dont share
me-Greedy
Mars-I'm not greedy u wouldn't want to share me anyway
me- Im sharing u right now, u just dont know ;)
Mars- Lol oh so how are you sharing me, ur letting my gf have me ??
me-haha yeah
Mars- Oh why would u share?
me- cuz its not a big deal
Mars- So sharing or I'm not a big deal to u ??
me-(i was cracking up here hahahha) haha sharing...
Mars- Oh well im upset ur not coming over :(
me-Ill make it up next week :)
Mars-How?
me- ummm idk, got any ideas?
Mars-No ur the one making it up, you pick (he was thinking of sexual things, obvioulsy) 
me- Well can u help me outt, what do u like
Mars- No itll only be special if u come up with it
me- Ur making this harder then its supposed to be...just tell me.
Mars- Truthfully I can't answer u have to 
me-why
Mars- Cus #1 I have a gf #2 I want u to choose
me- hahaha, 1. im letting her borrow u from me, its temporary. and 2. i chose. :)




Anywho, I feel like a homewrecker. But i also feel like he is initaiting it so its not that bad, anddd I dont really like him, hes just there to mess with...i know, that sounds bad but girls just wanna have fun! haha and hes the one with the girlfriend. So w.e. 


I dont wanna see him till i break the 140s so i kinda HAVE TO reach it by saturday. And i cant even run or workout cuz of my ankle... So i guess i have to watch what i eat.

Thats basically all that happen, Oh and HAPPY EASTER! the good thing about my family is that we dont celebrate easter so no food but my lil sis did get lots of candy and chocolate eggs. But still :) no binge or food, ive had cereal and a smoothie so far. :) and im feeling good! So now ill do some homework and read your wonderful blogs! 


ps-sorry about this loong post. lol so lots of fitspo and thinspo 






I will dominate.



the best kind of candy is eyecandy

perfection.



Thursday, April 21, 2011

Not again...

So, once again, i have stopped following my plan. Wtf. I seriously cant achieve anything longterm at all. I dont know how much i weigh, i dont wanna know either. Its also that time of the month. So lotsa bloating and stuff. Today was 4/20. National weed day, where u smoke a shit ton and get so high, you could eat a star. Well i couldnt celebrate cuz i was stuck in school studying for a test that im pretty sure i failed. Boo. Today was just no success. 

Oh, but i did talk to my sister... We just talked about life and boys, and school and stuff. I think it was better then getting high, and no munchies. Lol. My head hurts, its 3:10 am. and i have to wake up at 9:15am to go to D.C. Blah. Exams are coming up soon, gotta write my holocoust paper, and other shit. Ugh

I had a burrito today. A fucking burrito. Like the worst food to eat. Ever. but thats all i had. I feel like weightloss is such a big thing to me, and i cant even do it. I should be thinking about loosing weight all the time, but i forget and eat and eat and eat, then once im full, i realise what i did. *Eat like a elephant. 

So, for the next couple of day, my first priority is my weight. Im going to eat minimum and still go on with my day as normal. Tomorrow, me and my 2 friends are going to Georgetown, D.C. where they wanna get the famous Georgetown cupcakes, and prolly eat out somewhere. Im going to have a salad or a turkey burger. And as for the cupcake...Ill share one or say i have no money left to buy any. And also, we'll be doing lots of walking there so ill get at least some exercise. Ookay. Lets hope everything works out okay tomorrow.
Night, sweet dreams.
xoxo-Pariis

Products from Georgetown Cupcake
Fitspiration 







Some advice
Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E’s - Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2010.
7. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
8. Sleep for 7 hours.
9. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
10. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
11. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
12. Don’t over do. Keep your limits.
13. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
14. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
15. Dream more while you are awake.
16. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
17. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
18. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
19. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
20. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
21. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
22. Smile and laugh more.
23. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society:
24. Call your family often.
25. Each day give something good to others.
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
27. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
28. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
31. Do the right thing!
32. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
33. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
35. The best is yet to come.
36. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

30 Day shred- Day 2-3

So, somehow i gained weight in the past couple days. Wtf?

Im not gonna say how much i weigh right now, but my goal is 153 lbs by saturday. Ive been doing the shred and all day yesterday and today my arms and calves were sore. And its been going well, just not on the scale...cuz i feel like I look thinner but the scale says different. And i know the scale is right. Hmm. FML

And ive been eating healthy, had special K for breakfast, subway for lunch, and an apple and banana for dinner. So idk whats with the damn scale, its making me mad... Grr.

Uhm nothing else is going on, just that I got some 'stuff' to help me focus on my big exams that are coming up. Yeaaa, surprisingly i dont have much to say right now. Weird.

kay then, ttyl beautys!

xoxo-Pariis

ps-one of the girls on the shred dvd has such a nice frickin body i just stare at her while working out, it really motivates me.

anddd omfg, 52 followers? thanks guys! I hope u enjoy my rambling lol. I try not to bore u guys, but if i do, sorry! :)

its a heart!^