Parties, Alcohol, and Throw-up

Hey, so this past week has been so crazy with everything EXCEPT dieting. -_- I didnt really work out or eat right at all this whole week. it was my winter break so i thought i should loosen up. Yea, bad idea....

So, where should i start? Ive been working a lot lately. I worked Christmas and i have to work New years eve too. blah...  but work has been going good, im bouta be a server now because hosting doesnt make that much money. Im gonna be training this week and hopefully start serving by next week.  What fun! : |

Uhhh I went to a party with ppl from work sunday and kinda got drunk and high.. lol  i was gone. People said i was passed out on the couch and i remember i threw up in the bathroom. but i was okay. I drove home and the next day i had court early in the morning for my reckless ticket. That went well i guess, i had to pay $170 and i got 6 points taken away :( boo! And i have to take a driving class too. Ugh. I hate cops and driving

Well, after court i went shopping with my friend, and got a long sleeve one shoulder shirt and a hoodie shirt thing, they are soo cute! then after that is when the crazy started. I went to my friends house and chilled there for a bit, then we sneaked out to go to a party. I brought 3 cans of four lokos, and we finished it alllll! Me and one of my friends were gone, like we passed out at the party, and then when i woke up, i start throwing up. It was discusting. I threw up like 5 times! it was soo bad, and i was wearingg my new shirt and i threw up on it.. :( it was sooo bad.  but we got home safely and I regretted it all the next day. When i was leaving my friends house, i found out that i threw up in my car.... Yea, my car smelled like shit and i had to clean it up... I was soo pissed. Never again. Never ever ever again! Yea so thats all about the party.

Oh yea, also, remember Mars, well i guess we are an on and off type of thing now? well we were texting yesterday and stuff about just boring things. and then i found out he had sex with some asain girl. and he ADMIT to it. but its all good. I took care of that. it was actually really funny.

Hmm other then that, I just weighed myself and im at 161 lbs. and its night time, so i weigh more. Im okay with that. I didnt reach my 150 lbs goal, but thats okay, cuz i was on a break. but i will reach it by the end of january. i just want to start 2011 weighing below 160 lbs. Yupp! so now im going to start reading your wonderful blogs and thanks for all my new followers!
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I weighed myself this morning and i weigh 159 lbs! Bam Bam! whose awesome? ME! :)
xoxo Pariis

Fuck Love

So ive been really down lately. I just feel alone and lonely. and depressed. Ive never really thought about having a guy in my life until now. But i dont understand why i have the urge to have a boyfriend or someone like that.

I hate guys. and all the bullcrap with it. but i want to get involved in it and, and i dont know. i guess i want to feel loved. but not by just any guy, it has to be a specific kind of guy. A guy who loves me for me, not for my looks. A guy who likes my weird laugh and doesnt get embarrassed by it in public. A guy who see within me. A guy who wants more then just sexuality in the relationship. A guy who just wants to hold me and never let go. A guy who respects me but knows when to stand up and speak against me. A guy who will guide me to the right path. I want that guy. but there is no such thing as that.

I guess all the daydreaming ive done my whole life was pointless. Cuz nothing will happen the way i thought it would. But thats life right? Expect the unexpected.

Honestly, ive never wanted a guy beside me. Ive always been the independent one, the one who will exceed without a guy to hold me down from reaching my dreams and goals. So why do i want someone like that now? and its not that time of the month either.... Ive seen what has happen to my girlfriends getting screwed over by their boyfriend, taking thier virginity away and leaving thier heart in pieces. So why would i ever want that???

Sometimes, i wish everyone was blind so looks wouldnt exist. But wishes are fictional, its just something that will never happen no matter how much u wish. the word 'wish' is a waste. Because wishes are something u desire that you know wont happen, but dreams, dreams have a chance of coming true. Dreams are real, and they can be accomplished. Hmm.
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Me and asshole (Mars) are done. Officially. I dont know how stupid i was to even start anything with him over the summer, and to actually see him and sneak out for him. And sacrifice all the things i did for him. What a waste. Waste of my time and life. It wouldve never worked out between us, we are on completely different places in life. We are experiencing different things. We have nothing in common. Nothing. He doesnt make me happy. He makes me self conscience. He makes me scared. He makes me feel ugly and helpless. Like i cant have anyone else...And i was never excited to see him, ever. Every time i was about to go see him, id make sure i looked pretty, or tryed to look pretty, and give him what he wanted. Well now its time for what i want. And i dont want you. I dont. I deserve better. I know i do.

GUESS WHO HIT THE 150'S! :)

Hello everyone!

Sorry i havent posted in awhile, i promised myself when i hit the 150's then, and only then i can post. So im posting which is good right? Well, while i was gone, i did some other things like find this website saying how its better to workout in the morning then any other time, which i completely agree with. So, now i have 2 alarms for 10:00 a.m. Ive been working out in the morning for the past 3 days and its really a blast!

heres the link to the article, if u wanna read it.

http://www.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding_60/68_fitness_tip.html

SCHOOLS OUT! YES YES YES!
So classes are done, and I am stress free! yay, but with classes done i have more time on my hands which means more time to eat and be lazy, well instead of being lazy this holiday, I picked up some more shifts at my restuarant job. And another thing is i got a second job! I am now a soccer coach for little kids! Its so much fun just playing with the kids and i can even burn some calories on top of that, anddd ill be occupied so i cant be lazy or eat! its the perfect solution.

Hmm, Also, i stopped talking to Mars. That was just a bad situation. The more i talked to him, the more i felt wierd about our relationship. So at the end, I found out that i was basically his booty call. I asked him why are we even friends, and he said "cuz ur cute.".... That was a slap in the face. I dont ever want to be in that kind of a position with any guy, Im not okay with it. I was truely looking for a 100% type of a relationship... Oh well. It is what it is.

Well. thats basically all that has happened the days i was gone. I am currently at around 158.9 lbs. Yea it took awhile to get there cuz i got distracted and binged a few times which made me go up to 163 lbs so i had to loose all that and then some. But I am on track again and my goal is that i want to start the New Year weighing 150 lbs or lower. Yes yes yes! I think i can do it if i really commit. Which i will.

Also, thanks again for all the comments, i really love them. They really keep me motivated. And to answer the questions.
Q- What's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? 
A-Probably a baby taking their first steps, its so amazing and beautiful thinking about how much effort they put into those first steps to exceed to walking and later on running.  


Q-what's your best weight loss tip?
A- Exercise!!!...in the morning! best thing to do for you body, itll change your whole day.


Now some more questions from me!
1. what is YOUR best weight loss tip?
2. What are some things you do that are NOT related to weight, scale, ect.
3. Whats your new years resolution going to be?

Thanks again!
xoxo Pariis

P.S.-Oh yea i just wanted to say ive been staying away from those evil free Christmas cookies! They are everywhere! people are just giving them out, but ive been saying NO to them, and im really proud of myself. :)

wow, is this real?

Omg, so much happen this week.

So last night i went to a party after work, and the whole time i was texting Mars. And basically at the end Mars wanted to make "us" official.... and i was going crazy. I didnt know if i wanted to be with him or not. And i was asking everyone at the party what i should do. lol. but at the end we agreed that we should stay friends for now cuz we havent seen eachother in a looong time. but we've been talking for a hot minute now. Yea,  and his face is messed up nowcuz he does wrestling and idk but ive been trying to see his face, i told him to send me a pic of it but it never came through.. :( oh well. but yeaaaa.... we texted allll day yesterday. Honestly i dont even know what i want. I kinda like him but not to the point where i want to be with him i guess. but i do want a boyfriend. Agh! im so confused!

Anyways, I dont think i gained any weight. Im actually really close to the 150's now. I havent done any workouts except for running a couple of times, just cuz i havent had time and ive been working this whole weekend. i havent weighed myself yet either cuz i just woke up. Ok, ill weigh myself right now.
and i weigh
.
.
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161.6 lbs!!!

yay me! but Grr i thought id be in the 150's by now. Im so close! Hopefully tomorrow ill be there. Ahh!!! Im happy but sad at the same time. lol, but im more happy then sad for sure. Hmm. So todays plan-
1. wash face, brush teeth
2. Eat some cereal
3. Finish papers and english stuff
4. work out, run
5. Lunch, then head to class.
6. come home and sleeeeep <3 lol

Great! :) Also, on my calender, im ahead of my plan! i was supposed to hit 160 on the 18th, but i think ill get there on the 14th. :) Yessss Im pretty happy! Okay... i need to clean my room too haha. Alright thats all for now! And thanks to all the comments, keep em coming, i loooove them and all my followers!

Stay strong!

XOXO Paris







Some questions
1. should i be with him or not?
2. do you guys want to see a pic of him lol or his body?? hahaha
3. ask me a question? :)

So i had a dream that i posted pics of mars on here, and he finds out. and he's been following me on here and then he calls me and asks me to take the pics off of here.... i woke up screaming.

Yea, thats never going to happen. Ever. So court went well and my ticket got dissmissed, so i didnt have to pay a penny! but i did wait from 9 till 11 to get my name called. the judge was really nice and he was funny too! but i have another court date for reckless on the 27th, which im scared for. Yea, I must be a pretty bad driver with all these tickets right? lol, Im really not that bad though, sometimes i get aggresive but its not my fault! people dont know how to drive, and if i go the speed limit, then people will start cutting and i HATE that. lol. but the reckless ticket really wasnt my fault. i was lost and scared so i was just speeding to get out of where ever i was, i was actually glad i got pulled over. But anyways

Im going to run and do my core synergistic workout today. Hopefully. I go to work at 5 so i need to hurry up. Last time i checked(this morning) i weighed 165 lbs. Which im happy about. Really happy. My plan is to lose 5 lbs this week and get down to 159-160 lbs. If that actually happens, im going to be sooo happy and proud and ecstatic and go crazy! i should have a prize too. but idk what.... hmmm....i should go get a pedicure or manicure. but i dont really like fake nails.  and my toes are crustyyy haha. Omg! i know! Im going to get something for my room! i really want pretty lights all around my room so ill get that, but only AFTER i get down to 159 lbs.  :) yes yes!

In other news, i spent all last night looking at myself in the mirror. Thinking about what i want to change about myself, and stuff. And daydreaming about being skinny and how it would change my life so much. And what i would do when im skinny, all the pretty clothes i could wear without feeling fat, having a whole other perspective on life, finding someone who would love me for me... Hmm yea. cant wait.

.....

yea. I feel like my stomach got smaller^-^ yay.  Oh and this morning i had some special K cereal and a cup of tea and milk thing. Yummm. Ok that is all for now, I shall go work my big butt off and lose 5 lbs! :)

goodbye and stay skinnny!

XOXO Pariiis <3

Thinspo laterrr

Gave you all i had, and you tossed it in the trash, you tossed it in the trash. yes you did.

Good afternoon my fellow bloggers!

14 followers??!? Amazing! thank you guys so much! It really means a lot knowing 14 actaul human beings are following me on here. lol and the comments on my post are lovely!  Thank you times a million!

Ok, so i did say i wasnt going to be on here till the end of the week, but i thought i needed a break from all the school work and exams and research papers! So far, i only have one week of classes left and im done! Just 1 bio exam, psych exam, english paper, and final portfolio left! woot woot!  Then ill be free!

Well, ive been extremely busy with school to even consider eating or exercising, so i prolly wont gain or lose this week. Ive been stressing this week too much, but ive been thinking. I think i want to be in a fully committed relationship. like 100% with a guy. I think i have trust issues, and i never ever let myself get too close to someone just to protect myself from being attached to them or losing them one day...So i dont think i can stay in a relationship, and also i get bored real quick. like if the guy isnt interesting anymore or theres no connection, i just stop... wow, im such a bitch. haha.

but about the guy i was talking about in my last post, lets call him Mars. hes hot and stuff but hes just a toy, ya know. like even if i wanted a true relationship with him, i would be wasting my time, we both no that. and we hooked up once and that all he wants to do now. he keeps texting me saying "i miss your lips" or "i wanna see you" im just like ok, calm down lil buddy! hahaaha.  it was just a one time thing, and i was prolly intoxicated at the time or something. smh... no i wasnt, thats just an excuse. blah! i dont even know why i kissed him. anyyywayyssss. umm  i need to go find some fresh bait. haha new boys. but i dont think ill find someone. or if i do they wont like me. man, screw these self esteem problems!

boys are so complicated. and too much effort.  so i dont think im ready for that commitment right now. boo. :(

i have to love myself before i love anyone else. and i surely dont love my body image!

haha, ok so Mars texted me today and this is how it played out:

Mars- Hey
Me- Hey you
Mars- imu (i miss you) im tryna see you soon
Me- Aww  im sick and this week i have all my exams so i wont be able to see you till the end of next week.
Mars-end of next week ;( thats 2 loong
Me-sorry :/
Mars- Im so sad
Me- whyy whats wrong?
Mars- I want you.

and i didnt reply. lol and all that is word for word to how it was.... so yea. what should i do? I promised myself i wont see him till i hit 150 lbs. and its been like 2 or 3 weeks since the last time i saw him. oh, theres a catch i forgot to tell you guys. He's younger then me :O i know i know. i feel horrible.but just one year younger.... i think thats why we would never work out in a relationship. dang.... lol.

but in other news, i didnt gain any weight! so thats a plus.

Hmm...i have court tomorrow morning which sucks. Gah! i hate cops. ummmm. what else.....Oh! im in love with music!  music is my cure to bad days. i listen to Bruno Mars, Kerli, the boxer rebellion, neon trees and other awesome songs. What do you listen to? any suggestions? alright well that about all that happen this week. Oh and i start reading my horoscope, they are so true! you should start too!  today mine was, "Completion is important, it will give you the sense accomplishment you need."  and all day i did my homework and exams. so i was like woah! haha what does your say?

Alright, thats all for now, stay strong and drop the pounds! :)
xoxo Pariis



omg! im so proud of her! shes my true inspiration! and i love her bracelet! heehee

 hmmm, i wanna post a pic of mars but idk if he would let me... what he doesnt no wont hurt him right?? hahahah just kiddingg

Confussedd

Hey, so ive been working a lot lately. I work at ruby tuesdays, a restuarant, as a host. but im going to be a server cuz they make a shitload of money. but i have to take some tests and stuff. Ummm... i havent worked out at all for the past 3 days. and i "binged" a little. so im back at 168. fml. ummm also, i would have the munchies cuz i wasnt myself. hahaha i was on cloud 29, if ya kno what i mean. i need to stop that. im gonna quit ASAP! cuz that makes me fattt and i need to lose weight. hmmm i go to work in 2 hours.

and this one guy wants me to come over, but i really dont wanna go. cuz im so fat. and hes really really hot. and cut, and muscular. and cute! damn. idk why he even wants to see me. well, im not gonna see him today. i already made a plan. when i hit 150 lbs, then i can see him and do whatever. and theres this other guy, his nickname is "Liar"  we used to have a thing and we used to text eachother all day and all night and stuff. then we stopped. and now we never text or anything. i really miss him. and i think he has an eating disorder, cuz he like starves himself and NEVER eats. and he hates, HATES fat girls. im fat.

he hates me. well, when im 125 lbs, im gonna text him. hopefully. when i hit 125 lbs.

well, im also about to get my period, so that means ill be getting fat and lazy. BLAHHH and this week is finals and exams. so ima be sooo stressed and going crazzyyyy!!! ahhhhh, this will be my last post for the whole week prolly.

omg, and im getting sick and depressedd....w.e. ill just starve myself like all of you. that seems to work you u guys so yea. gahh idk why im so pissed and sad.

uhm... yea ok bye w.e.



heres a recent pic of me...ewwy!

Worst enemy!

Hey

so i was just wondering what is your worst enemy? i was thinking mine is prolly the mirror, but then i thought it was the scale. And then I completly flipped out and found out I, myself am my worst enemy. Yay for me, i just found out i hate myself. Blah.

Well, today was just a kinda horrible day. I woke up and went to the mall with my mom, who is getting soo effin annoying  for the past month. We, well SHE went shopping while i took care of my lil sister, then after we went and got some subway. I didnt feel guilty about that cuz i always order chicken breast and i no thats healthy. Yea, so after that, we went home. Right when i got home, i went to another mall by myself to shop for a lil get together  me and my friend were going to have. Bad thing, i couldnt find anytthing decent looking on me. i was soooo fat in all the clothes. then finally i found a big sweater shirt thing. and i got that. so at the end me and my friend were suppposed to go to Georgetown, its a little cute chic town that is so gorg and cute! We were supposed go out to eat at a itaian restuarant. and my other best friend heard about it and i KINDA invited her, and she brought her boyfriend. so basically at the end, my friend and my best friends boyfriend were pissed cuz they got ignored the whole time and stuff. i really felt bad and i apolagized to her like a million times, but she was still mad. ugh. but yea i ended up  eating some chicken pasta thing that i dont even know what it was. and i didnt work out AT ALL today. and i havent weighted myself today.... im scared

maybe i should just wait till moring and weigh myself. :/ i hate yoga btw, that was the workout i had to do today, i HATE yoga. but i didnt even run today... blah! thats soo bad! i gotta step back into my groove, i was doing so well. okay. im going to go weigh myself right now... hold up....
.
.
.
.
shit.
.
.
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166.8 lbs
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fml. that sucks.  you know what i hate, i hate how hard it is to lose weight, but how easy it is to gain. i wish it was as hard as losing, then everything wouldve been so much better. but lets get out of lala land. ummm.... ok so tomorrow im going to wake up around 12 pm, run till1, workout till 2, chill till 4 then go to work. sounds like a plan! gnight and sweet dreams!

ummmm ill post thinspo later, its 1:59 am right now so i gotta sleeeeeeeep

XOXO Pariis

Ohh and btw, thanks soo soo much to all my followers! and thanks for the comments, i love when you guys comment on my stuff, really makes my days better, haha

One day at a time

Hey hey.

Today was my third day to my workout plan, and i just finished up. I ran on the elliptical for 45-50 mins burning 1000 calories, then i did my P90X workout which was shoulders and arms, and ab ripper X! And omfg! Ab ripper is so intense! while your doing it, it feels like your abs are on fire! but it feel so good!  Ahhhh im satisfied with today. Oh and i ate some rice and okra for lunch today. It was ok, but my moms cooking sucks! haha, but i would never tell her that, i love her too much... lol that was random. Anyways, i weighed myself this MORNING, and it showed 164 lbs, then i weighed myself NAKED, and it showed 163 lbs, then i weighed myself normally with clothes on after my workout and it showed 165 lbs. so im going to say im 165 lbs for now. Down 3 pounds in 3 days! Yay! 

Yea! So tomorrow my workout is yoga. -__- gahh. its 1 hour and 30 mins long. thats a dragggg, friggen an hour and 30 effin minutes! sheesh. gotta prepare for that....

Anyways, all i have to do now is make sure i dont eat bad, and just think of the workout i did, then ill surely pass on the food. haha, i was drenched in sweat. LOOOOOVE IT!

Ohh yea and...

 Questions for you- 

1. How do you weighed yourself? with cloths on, without? in the morning?

2. What do you usually eat for breakfast? I cant seem find a small healthy food to eat.

3. What color should i paint my nails? :) heehee kinda bored, there currently a pale shiny pink.

XOXO Pariis 

and yes, i did change my blog a lil ;)

Ahh! i want a tattoo like that too!

My idol!!! she looks gorg!

stay safe and strong!

Kerli - Walking On Air... Im like in LOVE with this song!

Yay for me!

Hello everyone!

So im on my 2nd day of p90x and my dieting. so far so good! the past two days i ate right, ran 45 mins on the ellipticle, and did my p90x! how amazing is that?!?! and im already losing weight! i just weighed myself and im at 166 lbs, 1 pound lost. that good enough for me! ohh and another thing im proud of is that it was my brothers birthday yesterday and my parents bought him a big, huge chocolate cake!  omfg! like it was chocolate inside and outside and chunks of chocolate everywhere! and i only had a nibble of it. i was soooooo proud of myself! and theres still alot of it left in the fridge, but when i open the fridge, i go for it, but then i think, "hmm, this cake is NOT worth all that running and exercising i just did!" and walk away from the chocolate cake! Woot!!!

Haha, im happy with my improvements. but other then that, i have court tomorrow for a speeding tickit or something. my mom is going with me... Grr i hate cops with a fire burning passion. >:(

So you yall have any advise about how i should deal with the ticket? what should i say when i go to court?

another thing, is that classes are about to end so exams are really close! Ahhhhhhh!! that means lots of studying and no time for exercising! :( boooo oh well, ill make time!

and by the end of December, ill be around 150 lbs! no exceptions!

Stay strong ladies! dont let the cookies get you!

xoxo Pariis












ughh, thats discusting. another reason i wanna be skinny!

New month, New goals

Whats up bone lovers!

Haha, hey everyone! First i want to say thanks to all the comments and feedback from everyone, i really appreciate those and it keeps me motivated!  Second, i wanna ask how did the first holiday go for everyone? did you control yourself? what are u going to change next time? And third, i wanna say get ready for Christmas!!! and New years eve!  Now that you experienced Thanksgiving, you know what to expect for the other holidays. so get set!

Okay so today is November 29th.

Monday. Mondays are always great days to start something new since its the beginning of the week.  So im going to give this thing another try. For real this time. So basically its the same schedule of jogging and p90x but actually doing it everyday no matter what.  Today is the fist day :)

I have about 3 hours till i gotta go to class so i have to start now.
Im going to
-jog for 45 mins on the eliptical[check!]
- 1 hour of P90X[check!]
- some homework then leave to class[ughh]

Oh and if you guys have any tips for dieting or exercising, please dont hesitate and tell me please! and comments are greatly appreicated! :D ok bye for now!

oh and heres a cool site i just found! http://schoolofthin.xanga.com/666402274/item/ check it out!!


























xoxo Pariis