I just want to be skinny

but wanting is never enough.
bones are so beautiful.
i need to remind  myself of how fat i am
there should be a caution saying-danger-do not eat-
i always say -ughh i just want to be skinny
                   -i want to look like her
                  - i want to see my bones
                  -i want a boyfriend
...but what the FUCK am i doing to actually get there?
nothing.
i eat and eat and eat, then at the END of the day, i regret it all and tell myself ill do better the next day, yeah right, ive been going through this cycle for 2 weeks now. everyday i say ill do better the next day. and i have nothing to blame this on, except myself. i hate myself. i seriously need to get my head right. what should i do? how should i remeind myself throughout the day that summer and body bearing season is close, and im nowhere near ready for that. i guess its tshirts and pants again, no cute bathing suits or shorts for me. because im a FATASS.
fat whale
fat
huge
thick
blubber
fatass
thats what i am.
fuck my life.
idk what to do anymore...

ok so, plan 1- everytime i want to eat, ill go workout instead...and i want to strat running in the mornings again.
fuckin wish me luck

ps-im a fatass whale